Experimenting
by Marching Madly Onward
Summary: Athrun has a proposition for Kira... Yaoi? You decide.


**Disclaimer**: I don't own _Gundam SEED_. If I did, I would taunt the fanboys and girls with scenes they thirst for, only to yank them away because I'm a jerk like that.

**Experimenting**

Athrun Zala shook his head of cobalt blue hair wearily. "Kira, you really need to stop being such a baby."

The youth who he was addressing, Kira Yamato, scrunched his nose up in disgust. "I just don't want to do it, okay?"

Athrun indulged in a bit of theatrics with a heavy sigh. "If you do it now, I'll stop bothering you about it."

"Well," he paused. Athrun had been pestering him to do it for the past month and a half. In that time, he had gotten sick and tired of the begging, bargaining, and pseudo-threatening way in which his childhood friend had conducted himself.

"'Well' what? It's a simple yes or no answer."

He shot his friend a violet glare. "Just get off my back and let me think, okay?"

As the moments ticked away into seconds, Athrun began to squirm. "Can't you at least give it a taste?"

"Then you'll end up ramming it down my throat."

"Oh, I wouldn't do that."

"Oh, for Christ's sake!" Shin Asuka, the red-eyed firebrand who had been silent for most of the time, chimed in. "Just do it so he'll shut up! Damn!"

"I'm not asking you, am I, Shin?" Kira turned his icy gaze on the younger pilot.

The entire day, Shin's temper had been building. He woke up at some ungodly hour to find his dog, Rey, tearing his shoes to shreds. Shortly thereafter, he'd gotten in a screaming match with his next door neighbor; only find his alarm clock was broken. Somewhere along that godforsaken morning, he had wound up scorching his mouth on too-hot coffee. After being dragged to a dinner with Kira and Athrun—two of his least favorite people-- by his fiancée, Lunamaria Hawke, he was just about ready to burst. The little verbal duel that been going on between the Bloody Valentine veterans had finally pushed him to his breaking point.

So, it really shouldn't have come as a surprise that he punched Kira in the arm.

"Hey, what was that for?" The older Coordinator rubbed the sore sport.

"For being a whiny little bastard," he deadpanned, punching Kira again.

"If you don't knock it off-"

"You'll get Lacus to work her voodoo and convince the masses that I'm Satan?" Shin shot back acidly. He was about to connect with a third punch when his anger suddenly evaporated in wake of a thought of Luna that had suddenly popped into his head. She always had such a calming effect on him. "Whatever, I don't need to put up with this crap. I'm going to go find Luna."

As he stood up to stalk off, Kira couldn't resist the urge at a parting jab. "Well, good luck stalking your girlfriend."

"That was a suck-tastic comeback." Shin called over his shoulder.

Kira's cheeks puffed up in a childish display of rage, only to deflate in exasperation. "I hope he gets arrested for storming into the women's rest room."

Athrun, who had watched the entire proceeding with a smile befitting of the Cheshire Cat, couldn't help but laugh. "If you and Shin are done playing Alpha Male, I'd like to get back to-"

"Look, whenever you didn't want to do something, I never pressured you, right?" He was trying to cut Athrun off at the pass, while simultaneously playing the guilt card.

"Yeah, but it was never something like this. I mean, everyone's tried it at least once in their life."

"Well, I haven't! Is it really so weird?"

A pregnant pause followed. "Yes, it is."

Kira rolled his eyes. "Even if I were to do it, I hear you can really screw up your mouth doing this, and I don't want to take the chance."

"That's true, but only if you do it wrong. Just let me take you through it, step by step."

At wit's end, Kira hung his head in defeat. "Okay, okay, you win, Athrun. What do you want me to do?"

His emerald eyes lit up like fireworks. "Alright, now just put the tip in your mouth."

Kira did as he was told, without relish. "Like this?"

"Don't lick it; you sort of need to suck it to get used to the spiciness."

Kira grimaced and then blanched at the next words.

"Now bite the end off and suck out the juice."

With one last groan, Kira bit the chili pepper in half. In half a second, he realized how sorely he had erred as his mouth filled with an intense burning sensation. As he dashed toward the bathroom to wrap his lips around the nearest faucet, he passed the returning quartet of Lacus, Cagalli, Luna, and Shin.

Lacus magenta brow furrowed at this, fixing Athrun with a peculiar look. "What was that all about?"

The blue-headed man only smiled. "He was experimenting."

* * *

**Author's Notes**: I really had you going there, didn't I?

I would like to take this time to recognize _Defiled_ by Kuonji, a humorous SEED fic in a similar vein. _Five AUs That Should Not Happen_ is also worth checking out. Of course, it would be remiss of me not to note all of the other great works Kuonji has produced.


End file.
